tanhaThe Discipline Factor
October 21st 2006 11:05
I’m interested to know how many people, having been strongly disciplined as a child, actually appreciate that learning experience now. For what reasons do you appreciate it?
I had two very different parents. One was not a good child manager, and not actually keen on having children. Responses to us were irrational, unreasonably harsh and frequent. The effect on my developing personality was not helpful.
The other parent loved us dearly, put a great deal of time into us as youngsters, and I have many fond memories, Never emotionally erratic, if we did wrong we were in trouble and there was no way out. There was no point in answering back or trying to evade the issue. It was simply dealt with and then entirely forgotten. I didn’t, for the most part, feel unfairly done by, or any lasting anger about my treatment. Times of trouble for our misdeeds were actually pretty infrequent and we felt loved. It was a great model.
Thus I had two opposite character builders, one that hurt and one that built some character into me.
The one that hurt meant I had issues to work through later in life. This even worked out well as it gave me understanding that I could get no other way
The other built strengths into me that have served me well.
I had two very different parents. One was not a good child manager, and not actually keen on having children. Responses to us were irrational, unreasonably harsh and frequent. The effect on my developing personality was not helpful.
The other parent loved us dearly, put a great deal of time into us as youngsters, and I have many fond memories, Never emotionally erratic, if we did wrong we were in trouble and there was no way out. There was no point in answering back or trying to evade the issue. It was simply dealt with and then entirely forgotten. I didn’t, for the most part, feel unfairly done by, or any lasting anger about my treatment. Times of trouble for our misdeeds were actually pretty infrequent and we felt loved. It was a great model.
Thus I had two opposite character builders, one that hurt and one that built some character into me.
The one that hurt meant I had issues to work through later in life. This even worked out well as it gave me understanding that I could get no other way
The other built strengths into me that have served me well.
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Comment by Deorre
Stress Alive
Man Lessons
Good post, this.
Comment by Tel
Cheers!
Comment by Anonymous
Scripture teaches forgiveness, which may at times seem hard but offers freedom from the effects of abuse to a major degree. It further teaches us to love those who abuse us, as did the Amish Community recently. The exercise of love and concern for others ,even abusers,(as an art form, not as an emotion) is a great healer. That doesn't mean you give abusers the right to continue their abuse. It does mean you seek their betterment.
This makes mature people of us, I believe.
Hallo Tel.
It's great to hear of parents who have had wise balance in working with their children. What sort of principles were behind your familiy's methods? I think young parents need to know how to do this. If they haven't had the best treatment it is difficult to know how to do it. What specifically was good about them?
Comment by Helen's House
Comment by Tel
What I was saying boils down to "train up children in the way they should go and when they are old, they won't depart from it." Balance of love and discipline, consistently practiced by parents. I'm not that agreeable to the "do what I say but not what I do" attitude. Parents should practice what they preach. To be a model to their kids. And give much love, visible and invisible.
Tel
Anything that Really Matters
Comment by Helen's House