tanhaSelf-Confidence v Humility
April 27th 2007 06:13
Your text goes hereYour text goes hereHumility v Self-Confidence!
So much importance is attached to the projection of “confidence” these days, especially if you are in the sales business. The “confident” personality is up there in lights, and certainly gets all the attention. However, often the attention is not warranted as many an abused person can attest. I notice that only after finally exiting an abusive marriage does a person look for and value a partner with the real old-fashioned virtues of stability, gentleness, faithfulness, and – yes – humility.
I’m not saying, of course, that all confident people are abusive. That is ridiculous. What I am saying is that you have to look under the confidence to see what is there to back it up.
In some cultures the men can do no wrong, and of course they are a confident lot. However, sensitivity is not their great forte! Understanding is not a priority.
In other cultures women have taken ultra-feminism to heart, and, confident of their philosophy, have become unreasonably demanding.
So what is the counter to these self-promoting forms of confidence? Is it humility? Does that mean ineffectiveness, incompetence, unassertiveness etc? What are the qualities to look for that balance normal, healthy confidence?
The word ‘humility’ has been assassinated in modern culture. I think the process involved some kind of decapitation! It has been given a low-caste meaning, a headless wandering image.
But if the truth be known it’s a magnificent, powerful, gentle word. I think that it means having a truthful assessment of one’s place in the world, of one’s talent and consequent responsibilities, of what is possible and what is not real. It describes a person who is a living, feeding, contributing part of society as a whole and not an isolated, disconnected individual. It is a person who is keen to continue learning and understanding, who values other people whatever strata of society they inhabit, and who offers all that they are to the society in which they live. They see opportunity of benefit, and give into it, not looking for ‘name in lights’ recognition for the gift. Their strong confidence is in truth, wisdom, hope and love, rather than in themselves. They have a vision very much bigger than the one they see in the mirror every morning. Very often overlooked, they are the diamonds of community!
Dig for a diamond this week!
So much importance is attached to the projection of “confidence” these days, especially if you are in the sales business. The “confident” personality is up there in lights, and certainly gets all the attention. However, often the attention is not warranted as many an abused person can attest. I notice that only after finally exiting an abusive marriage does a person look for and value a partner with the real old-fashioned virtues of stability, gentleness, faithfulness, and – yes – humility.
I’m not saying, of course, that all confident people are abusive. That is ridiculous. What I am saying is that you have to look under the confidence to see what is there to back it up.
In some cultures the men can do no wrong, and of course they are a confident lot. However, sensitivity is not their great forte! Understanding is not a priority.
In other cultures women have taken ultra-feminism to heart, and, confident of their philosophy, have become unreasonably demanding.
So what is the counter to these self-promoting forms of confidence? Is it humility? Does that mean ineffectiveness, incompetence, unassertiveness etc? What are the qualities to look for that balance normal, healthy confidence?
The word ‘humility’ has been assassinated in modern culture. I think the process involved some kind of decapitation! It has been given a low-caste meaning, a headless wandering image.
But if the truth be known it’s a magnificent, powerful, gentle word. I think that it means having a truthful assessment of one’s place in the world, of one’s talent and consequent responsibilities, of what is possible and what is not real. It describes a person who is a living, feeding, contributing part of society as a whole and not an isolated, disconnected individual. It is a person who is keen to continue learning and understanding, who values other people whatever strata of society they inhabit, and who offers all that they are to the society in which they live. They see opportunity of benefit, and give into it, not looking for ‘name in lights’ recognition for the gift. Their strong confidence is in truth, wisdom, hope and love, rather than in themselves. They have a vision very much bigger than the one they see in the mirror every morning. Very often overlooked, they are the diamonds of community!
Dig for a diamond this week!
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Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
I'm a man and I have humility lol...I am also sensitive, caring and understanding...so please, do not lump ALL men into the same category!
But I did enjoy your blog a great deal...very enlightening and insightful...full of wisdom and truth..well, except the thing about men..*wink*
Very well written...
Take care,
Nick
Comment by Helen's House
It's great to have your comment.
Please read again and allow that I have not sideswiped all men, or all women for that matter, although I have pointed out what i think are major personality problems today - false bases of confidence..
In fact the reason I wrote this piece is that I have recently encountered a few diamonds - male ones, One in particular is in his mid thirties and I was longing to find a sweetheart for him, and wondering why it never happened, thinking how sad it was that this quiet and beautiful man seemed to have been overlooked. I long for more widespread appreciation of the old biblical values - gentleness, faithfulness, encouragement and resourceful support. What marriages we'd see then! These are the real ingredients of love. Chemistry is only a five minute wonder with an addictive element! There's a lotmore I could say on that, but maybe another time!
Best regards, and I'm hoping you'll find your true love too.