tanhaTHE PEOPLE-PLEASING
January 14th 2007 04:34
People Pleasing II
One of the great traps you can fall into these days is the people-pleasing trap. We get brainwashed about what’s cool, what we must wear, who the cool people are to be seen with, what the cool things are to do, where are the cool places to hang out., the coolest bran of sunnies, sneakers, you name it. Trying to keep up with it all is tough on the old pocket and then the fashion changes! Guess who gets the benefit of that!
Well, who dictated all this stuff anyway? Who gets to say what’s cool?
Doing what’s cool is like wearing a uniform anyway. Everybody else is much the same. What happened to individual personality, individual differences and giftings? “Taint cool to be different. Different gets teased and taunted.
Who teases and taunts those who are different? You guessed it. The class bully. It certainly isn’t the person with sensitivity, the friend with understanding, the one who wants to encourage you to show your colours and develop your style..
So you have two extremes – on the one hand addiction to cool (what everybody tells you you must do), on the other hand individual development (the question of “Who is that interesting person I see in the mirror every day?”)
Now, let’s investigate that interesting person. What are the things she loves? What are the things he’s very good at? Where are the places s/he is most happy? Who is there who can help develop this interesting person (mentor him)? What are their ideas. Ah! Surprise, surprise! They are not always “cool”! They have the strength to be different. There is something they believe in that makes them stand out – raises my interest in them What is it in them that attracts me? What have I in common with them? What things are interesting about me? – (There are many things of interest about you so don’t go into denial on this question!) They are the things that make me stand out from the crowd.
Stand out from the crowd? Is that cool?
Oh yes. It’s Oh so cool, because that’s the beginning of the leader coming out in you You’ll be the one who gets to say what is cool for you! And people will then follow you!
Develop yourself as a cool leader, not a cool slave! Dare to be different. Dare to be real. Dare to be truthful. Write down even now any ways in which this article has helped change your thinking.
The Purple People Pleaser – Poem by Helen Murray
Chorus:
It was a one-eared, smooth-tongued, cringing purple people pleaser,
Lop-eared, smooth-tongued, cringing purple people pleaser.
Lop-eared, smooth-tongued, cringing purple people pleaser.
Sure feels dumb to me.
Well, I found that thing pumping deep in my heart.
It had one ear, silk tongue, right from the start.
I commenced a shiverin’ and I said “Oh yuk,”
And cringed at the cringin’ creep a-biting the dust.
Chorus:
He nibbled at my heart-strings and he pulled them tight!
I said, “Mr. Purple People Pleaser, don’t you bite!”
He answered me in a tone too rough,
I’ll bite where I want ‘till I’ve had enough!
Chorus
I said “Mr. Purple People Pleaser go away.
I’m a-callin’ in Jesus and He’s going to stay.
He thinks I’m just lovely and He’s making me strong.
I’m going to please Him. He’ll do me no wrong!
Chorus:
He said “You can’t get rid of me just like that!
I’ve been living here a long time. I’m a clever little rat.
This is my home and I’ve made it nice and muddy.
I’m dug right in, you stupid fuddy-duddy!”
Chorus:
I said “In the Name of Jesus I bind you up!
Go, get lost and vanish ‘cause I’ve had quite enough.
Go, in Jesus’ Name, for He is the First and Last.”
You should have seen him slink away, very, very fast!
Chorus:
I don’t have a purple people pleaser any more.
I watched his tail curl under as he slunk right out the door.
I’m busy pleasin’ Jesus cause he makes my heart strong,
I’m a Jesus-pleasin’ person and I’m going to live long.
Forever, actually!
One of the great traps you can fall into these days is the people-pleasing trap. We get brainwashed about what’s cool, what we must wear, who the cool people are to be seen with, what the cool things are to do, where are the cool places to hang out., the coolest bran of sunnies, sneakers, you name it. Trying to keep up with it all is tough on the old pocket and then the fashion changes! Guess who gets the benefit of that!
Well, who dictated all this stuff anyway? Who gets to say what’s cool?
Doing what’s cool is like wearing a uniform anyway. Everybody else is much the same. What happened to individual personality, individual differences and giftings? “Taint cool to be different. Different gets teased and taunted.
Who teases and taunts those who are different? You guessed it. The class bully. It certainly isn’t the person with sensitivity, the friend with understanding, the one who wants to encourage you to show your colours and develop your style..
So you have two extremes – on the one hand addiction to cool (what everybody tells you you must do), on the other hand individual development (the question of “Who is that interesting person I see in the mirror every day?”)
Now, let’s investigate that interesting person. What are the things she loves? What are the things he’s very good at? Where are the places s/he is most happy? Who is there who can help develop this interesting person (mentor him)? What are their ideas. Ah! Surprise, surprise! They are not always “cool”! They have the strength to be different. There is something they believe in that makes them stand out – raises my interest in them What is it in them that attracts me? What have I in common with them? What things are interesting about me? – (There are many things of interest about you so don’t go into denial on this question!) They are the things that make me stand out from the crowd.
Stand out from the crowd? Is that cool?
Oh yes. It’s Oh so cool, because that’s the beginning of the leader coming out in you You’ll be the one who gets to say what is cool for you! And people will then follow you!
Develop yourself as a cool leader, not a cool slave! Dare to be different. Dare to be real. Dare to be truthful. Write down even now any ways in which this article has helped change your thinking.
The Purple People Pleaser – Poem by Helen Murray
Chorus:
It was a one-eared, smooth-tongued, cringing purple people pleaser,
Lop-eared, smooth-tongued, cringing purple people pleaser.
Lop-eared, smooth-tongued, cringing purple people pleaser.
Sure feels dumb to me.
Well, I found that thing pumping deep in my heart.
It had one ear, silk tongue, right from the start.
I commenced a shiverin’ and I said “Oh yuk,”
And cringed at the cringin’ creep a-biting the dust.
Chorus:
He nibbled at my heart-strings and he pulled them tight!
I said, “Mr. Purple People Pleaser, don’t you bite!”
He answered me in a tone too rough,
I’ll bite where I want ‘till I’ve had enough!
Chorus
I said “Mr. Purple People Pleaser go away.
I’m a-callin’ in Jesus and He’s going to stay.
He thinks I’m just lovely and He’s making me strong.
I’m going to please Him. He’ll do me no wrong!
Chorus:
He said “You can’t get rid of me just like that!
I’ve been living here a long time. I’m a clever little rat.
This is my home and I’ve made it nice and muddy.
I’m dug right in, you stupid fuddy-duddy!”
Chorus:
I said “In the Name of Jesus I bind you up!
Go, get lost and vanish ‘cause I’ve had quite enough.
Go, in Jesus’ Name, for He is the First and Last.”
You should have seen him slink away, very, very fast!
Chorus:
I don’t have a purple people pleaser any more.
I watched his tail curl under as he slunk right out the door.
I’m busy pleasin’ Jesus cause he makes my heart strong,
I’m a Jesus-pleasin’ person and I’m going to live long.
Forever, actually!
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