tanhaPre-marital Cohabitation and Virginal Marriage
September 29th 2006 13:44
I listened to a radio show today about the current practice of living with a partner before marriage and gained some interesting insights.
1. It’s done, supposedly, to test whether people are compatible and able to live together. This makes it a performance-based relationship. Very often the performance is about sex and the deeper things that build relationship are omitted altogether.
2. If eight couples so engage, four will never marry. Of the four who do, three couples will break up (much higher percentages than for those who marry as virgins)
3. There is a natural barrier formed because there is no certainty about permanence (which is what most people want at heart) and therefore protective installations take place.
4. If the girl gets pregnant, the most frequent experience is that her fellow will leave after two years and she will have the responsibility of the child(ren) alone. The fact was that, even though she was permitted to believe that marriage would follow, it was never on his agenda.
5. The incidence of unfaithfulness (both male and female) are very much higher.
Marriages where the couple are celibate until marriage have a much greater success rate, more stable and successful children.
The new suggestion was that in depth and personally tailored marriage counselling needs to occur pre-engagement, so that the couple can truly assess their prospects and learn the important factors that build marriage partners into a powerful team.
The marriage counsellors are ideally examples of successful marriage so that they have experience to talk from as well as learning.
The radio broadcast was from Focus on the Family
1. It’s done, supposedly, to test whether people are compatible and able to live together. This makes it a performance-based relationship. Very often the performance is about sex and the deeper things that build relationship are omitted altogether.
2. If eight couples so engage, four will never marry. Of the four who do, three couples will break up (much higher percentages than for those who marry as virgins)
3. There is a natural barrier formed because there is no certainty about permanence (which is what most people want at heart) and therefore protective installations take place.
5. The incidence of unfaithfulness (both male and female) are very much higher.
Marriages where the couple are celibate until marriage have a much greater success rate, more stable and successful children.
The new suggestion was that in depth and personally tailored marriage counselling needs to occur pre-engagement, so that the couple can truly assess their prospects and learn the important factors that build marriage partners into a powerful team.
The marriage counsellors are ideally examples of successful marriage so that they have experience to talk from as well as learning.
The radio broadcast was from Focus on the Family
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