tanhaBuilding the House: Lining the Walls
June 15th 2007 05:32
The gyprock lining of the walls cannot withstand the external weather and has to be protected from it by the stronger brick and mortar structures with their windows.
So are the children of our society. No wonder they crumble when the protective structures are dysfunctional. In my city they are currently discussing the sexual education of three-year-olds so that they know what is appropriate touching and what is not, and can scream when it is inappropriate!. I never heard of such balderdash in all my life.! A three-year-old knowing how to protect itself against an adult male who is abusing the child with inappropriate touch? I’d rather see the adult taken out and shot – honestly. Our children are dealing with too many adult problems already – unstable relationships of “partners”, broken marriages, absent parents, living in two houses, and we are going to load them with this!
There are three rules when it comes to children – PROTECT, PROTECT, and PROTECT. That includes what penetrates their world through the media, the classroom, the schoolyard etc. What they mostly need as children is time to be children, to flourish in innocence, to grow a personality mostly developed through love, encouragement, and appropriate discipline.
Discipline? Now there’s a word that terrifies far too many people these days. But just as the gyprock lining of the wall of my house is pinned into place, so the children need to know their right place in the home structure. When they are eighteen they can make choices for themselves, and if those choices don’t suit their parents, then they can go and make them somewhere else, but while they are in the parental house they have to fit in with the parental model. Parent abuse by adult children is not acceptable, although many get away with it, more especially when their parent is a single female.
Now, let’s take a close look at that word “discipline”. It strikes fear into many a caring heart. It shouldn’t. A dear friend of mine recently had her 100th birthday celebrations – a week of parties with relatives emerging from far distant parts of the globe. She still lives in her own home and had a ball. During the dinners etc it was commonly said that her philosophy, when bringing up her two boys (there was also a girl) was that if she kept them busy enough there’d be no time for them to get into trouble. This, interpreted, meant that they became Highland dancers, sang in the national children’s choir, studied piano, played every available sport, went to every suitable theatrical in town, always went on simple holidays with new things to do, attended church regularly and read a multitude of books. They were strongly disciplined when out of order (that wasn’t all that often because it didn’t pay!), but most of the discipline provided exciting learning experiences upon which they thrived. I think this lady had the right idea. A life full of opportunity and carefully selected activity with inspiring adult coach/models developed a brilliant skeleton upon which to build their very successful adult lives. This is the real definition of discipline in family terms.
Gradually, as the “walls” develop they’ll take on colours of their own, and finally go build their own houses.
Next we start looking at the different rooms in the house, perhaps beginning with the kitchen!
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